people are starting to question the shark bite story
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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