i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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