Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
