Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
