talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
