i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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