She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
