Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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