don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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