you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
