Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
