Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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