Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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