let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
