Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
