WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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