Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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