she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
