I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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