whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
