Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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