we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she looked like the before picture.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
