I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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