That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
