quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize