Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
