White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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