i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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