we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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