Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
