Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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