he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
