Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
