So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
