I want to stick my p in your. b.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
