Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
