just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
