We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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