I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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