his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
A+ Viking dick
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