Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Did you pee in the oven last night??
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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