My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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