She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The adults are the big ones right?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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