listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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