you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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