We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
