Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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