I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
