just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i've created a new STD.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
