BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
you had me at cake vodka
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
